When it comes to being good in bed, it’s common for men to think of porn. I think it’s fair to say that most people have their first notions of sex based on what they saw in porn. However, what you see in porn can be very different – and sometimes the opposite – from what it’s like in real life. Today, we’re going to look at the difference between reel sex and real sex.
Duration
This one’s probably the biggest difference between porn and real sex. A typical porno video will have about an hour’s worth of sex footage. Actual filming can have more than two hours’ worth of footage! That makes some people think that they should be able to last just as long in bed, and anything less would seem like they tire out too fast or finish too soon, mistaking it for premature ejaculation.
However, that’s far from how actual sex is. An article published on Psychology Today, showed that real sex only lasts for an average of ten minutes, with 20-minute sessions being on the longer side. That’s even including the non-penetrative part of sex because a big part of actual sex involves foreplay.
Position
If you pay attention to how people do it in porn, you will notice that the sex positions portrayed in it tend to involve a lot of “exposure” in a sense that penetration can be seen from at least one camera angle. Most of these positions feature legs wide open or lifted high up. Penetration also involves long thrusts because it looks better for the camera.
While some positions that work in porn also work in real life, actual sex is more about physical closeness and maximising pleasure over visibility. Plenty of positions involve embracing and just simply having maximum body contact so there’s not much visual fanfare. In fact, unless you train for it, some positions in porn are just too tiring to be enjoyable in real life.
Glamour
If you’ve seen any kind of porn, you’ve probably gotten this idea that it’s a very glamorous business. Most actors are fit, the actresses are busty and curvy, and they have the stamina for days. Unfortunately, this also gives the illusion that actual sex should be just as glamorous as what you see in porn. Even worse, this has led to some men feeling dissatisfied with their sex life.
Real sex is rarely as glamorous as depicted in porn. Porn stars usually undergo procedures like bleaching their genitals and getting boob jobs to look better for the camera unlike regular people. Real sex is also awkward, with plenty of farting or queefing noises, not to mention the smell from all that sweat and body fluids involved in lovemaking. Don’t you find it impressive that despite all that, sex is still one of the best things in life?
Emotion
When looking at porn, you will often see the participants having sex in a… very enthusiastic way. Grunts and moans are common. Dirty talk is also a staple. You will be able to easily figure out when the climax is coming because everything intensifies as they reach orgasm. How is it different from real sex?
While actual sex also has is intense moments, you realise that it’s not as rowdy as sex portrayed in porn. Sure, you’ll occasionally hear some pleasurable screaming, but for the most part it’s going to be a mix of soft moans and love talk. In fact, most people don’t make a lot of noise when doing it because it is more private and intimate.
Progression
This one may sound like a joke, but quality aside, porn has a definite start and end. There’s some setup involved, they get turned on, they do it, then they finish. Whether it’s the classic professional meets horny woman or a casting couch gag, progression in porn is very methodical. Some even go meta, with behind-the-scenes footage, but even that is usually scripted.
Progression in real sex can be very random. In some cases, sex will be spontaneous with little or no buildup. In other cases, sex would only happen after a long time of making out or petting. Real sex is also frequently followed by cuddling, which sometimes leads back to even more sex. Sometimes, orgasm can happen before or after penetrative sex. Barring a few rare exceptions, actual sex is rarely as structured as sex portrayed in porn.
Conclusion
Pornography gives people the idea that sex should look a certain way, but it has a dangerous effect on how men perceive their sex life should be. These unrealistic expectations can make men feel inadequate and cause problems like ED or PE, among other men’s health issues.
A man should be realistic when it comes to matters of sex. This helps set achievable goals that not only helps improve his self-confidence, but also increases the chances that his partner will be more satisfied in bed. If you feel like your sex game is not up to par, maybe ditch the porn and focus on getting it on.
If you’re dealing with struggling with men’s health issues like ED and PE, feel free to get in touch with us. MHC’s team of experts can offer customised treatment options. that can get you back in the groove.
