Understanding Love Languages this V-Day for Men with ED and PE 

by Men's Health Clinic

Valentine’s Day is considered the most romantic day of the year and is all about showing your special someone how much you love them. For men with erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE), V-Day can be overwhelming: how can they express their love to their partners when faced with sexual dysfunctions?  

One of the best ways to make V-Day extra special for your partner is by mastering love languages. When you know your and your partner’s love languages, you can express your love and affection even if the sexual part of the relationship may be lacking.  

Read along and discover how to take your relationship to the next level with the help of love languages! 

What are love languages, exactly?  

Love language is a term coined by esteemed marriage counsellor Gary Chapman Ph.D. in his 1992 book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts”. The book explains that there are different ways for people to experience love. Dr. Chapman identified five categories through which you can express and receive love. These are now known as the five love languages.  

The importance of understanding the love languages for men with ED and PE 

People experience and receive love differently. Understanding these differences can help you build a stronger relationship with your special someone and help improve your relationship. For example, if your partner expresses love through acts of service, you can reciprocate using a language your partner understands, like helping your partner in doing the laundry, buying groceries, or loading the dishwasher.  

For men with ED and PE, understanding the five love languages can be helpful in more ways than one: 

• Non-sexual intimacy: When you know the five love languages, you can reinforce emotional intimacy in the relationship. The lack of “good” sex (or the lack of sex thereof) may have slightly damaged your emotional connection with each other, so reinforcing closeness through other non-sexual ways can be beneficial to make up for the lost intimacy in bed. 
• Reduced pressure: When you use the five love languages to your advantage, you won’t feel that much pressure to perform sexually because you already know how to win your partner’s heart in other ways besides sex. This creates a more relaxed environment for both of you, which can help set up the mood for good sex. 
• Celebrating individuality: Love languages highlight the many unique ways people perceive and express their love. When you use it in your relationship, you’re honouring your partner’s distinct romantic needs and preferences. It’s like you’re “customising” how you treat them. This fosters appreciation and creates a deeper connection despite facing ED and PE challenges.  

What are the 5 love languages?  

Let’s take a closer look at the different love languages. We will also look at some examples of how you can use them to show your love to your partner.  

Words of Affirmation  

This is the love language that uses verbal communication to convey love to your partner. Aside from words professing romantic love, you can also use encouraging or positive words. Another way is by using words of encouragement.  

The most common way of using this type of love language is by saying “I love you” to your partner. However, you can use other positive words depending on the situation. For example, if your partner made the effort to cook you a meal, show your love by saying “Thank you for the delicious meal”. If you feel that your partner is facing a challenge at work, you can say “I believe in you and I know you can do this”.  

Acts of Service  

This is the love language that best represents the mantra “actions speak louder than words”. Some people use acts of service to show their love. So, how can you reciprocate your partner’s acts of service? Learn more about the things your partner loves and those that your partner is not too fond of. For example, if your partner hates cleaning the bathroom, volunteer to do the cleaning as an act of service. If you know that your partner loves watering the plants, leave that chore for your partner and find something else to do as an act of service. You don’t even have to do an entirely different chore, you can simply lighten their load by lending a helping hand. 

What’s great about this love language is it is beneficial even for those whose main love language is not acts of service. According to a Pew Research Center study, 56% of married US Adults believe that sharing household chores is very important to a successful marriage.    

Receiving Gifts  

Although some would say that material gifts are not that important, material gifts are tangible representations of love. Gifts don’t have to be expensive. If your partner loves reading books, a new bookmark will be highly appreciated. If you still have that movie stub from your first movie date, you can have it framed as a valuable memento. What is important is to spend time thinking of a meaningful gift for your special someone.  

Quality Time  

Quality time is not just about spending time with your special someone. It means ensuring that whenever you are together, your partner is your priority. Try turning off your mobile phone or putting it in silent mode to avoid distractions. When speaking with your partner, maintain eye contact and use acting listening skills to show that you are truly engaged.  

Physical Touch  

Among the love languages, physical touch is the most intimate. However, this love language is not just about having sex. It is all about ensuring that you are physically connected to your partner. This love language may be challenging if you have erectile dysfunction or experience premature ejaculation. However, you can still show your love by kissing, cuddling, holding hands, or hugging.  

If your partner wants a more intimate relationship, exert the effort to make sure that your partner feels sexually fulfilled even without sexual penetration. You can engage in cunnilingus to give pleasure to your partner. Find out about your partner’s erogenous zones so you can provide them with the stimulation that they need. Explore the use of sex toys and gadgets to satisfy your partner and spice up your sex life.    

Conclusion  

Understanding your partner’s love language is a crucial step to building a lasting relationship. By understanding love languages and how to apply them, you can show your love in a manner that your partner understands and appreciates. Do not let physical or medical hindrances like erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation derail you. Use your partner’s love language and make every Valentine’s Day a day to remember. 

If you’re ready to address your ED or PE, don’t hesitate to connect with us. To start, answer our two-minute quiz so you’ll know the right treatment for your condition.