Trouble in Paradise: Overcoming Male Infertility as a Couple

Infertility is one of the main causes of divorce, and 186 million people around the globe are struggling with it. It makes sense why some men begin to panic once they suspect that they are suffering from infertility. However, with the right approach and an understanding partner, it is entirely possible to triumph over male infertility. 

What is Infertility? 

Infertility occurs when couples fail to produce offspring despite having regular unprotected sex for at least 12 months. Infertility affects both men and women. With male infertility, there is usually an issue with the sperm or semen, but it is important to know that there are many other potential causes. Infertility is divided into two types: 

• Primary infertility – the affected individual has never achieved a pregnancy. 
• Secondary infertility – the affected individual has already had at least one pregnancy. 

9 Steps to Tackling Male Infertility Together 

Acknowledging the possibility of infertility and dealing with the aftermath can be frightening or stressful. You can reduce the emotional strain of infertility by approaching it strategically and with empathy. To minimise the overwhelming feeling that infertility brings, we bring you our step-by-step guide on handling male infertility with your partner. 

Step 1: Be on the same page 

While this may seem obvious in hindsight, some couples do not talk directly about wanting to build a family after marriage. Some people assume that the other would want the same future, not realising that the other might not even want to have children in the first place. Even if it turns out that both of you want to have children, you may have differing opinions on how many you want and how the childcare will be. Often, unfair expectations have been imposed on women about shouldering most of the burden of child-rearing. 

Step 2: Communicate about issues 

Once you have ensured that you really are both aligned on having children and how to raise them, it is time to communicate about any issues you may be having. As mentioned earlier, if you have been trying for a year already without results, that is considered infertility. What you can do is assess if there is anything you may have missed. Have you tried on days when chances of conceiving are low? Were you extremely stressed? How frequently have you had sex? Check if there is anything you can easily control and change that will improve the chances of pregnancy. 

Step 3: Get a semen analysis test 

For the men who are reading this, if you suspect that you have male infertility, you can gain a clearer idea by doing a semen analysis test. While there is laboratory testing, you can also buy over-the-counter (OTC) semen analysis tests. Perform multiple tests, as this will give you an idea of either how reliable the analysis test is or if there is anything unusual about your results. Note that OTC semen analysis tests are not as accurate as the laboratory version, but this can be one way of ruling out a cause. 

Step 4: Talk to a medical expert 

Fertility goes both ways, so it is best for you and your partner to get checked by a doctor. It is important to find out if it is male infertility or not, as you could be painstakingly trying to fix yourself when the issue lies with your partner. If this is the case, you need to divert your efforts into supporting your partner as best as you can. Doctors will also be able to order other infertility tests such as blood tests, imaging tests, and testicular biopsies, to help determine if there is male infertility. 

Step 5: Find out if the cause is reversible 

Once it has been confirmed that it is male infertility, you will know the cause and be offered treatment. Find out if the condition can be reversed, as this will allow you to conceive in the traditional way. Male infertility has multiple causes, including: 

• Oligospermia – low sperm count. Couples can still try to conceive naturally. 
• Azoospermia – zero sperm count. Other options for pregnancy must be explored. 
• Sperm Motility – you have a healthy sperm count, but they cannot swim to the egg. 
• Low Testosterone – testosterone replacement therapy may be able to resolve your fertility issues. 
• Varicoceles – swollen veins in the scrotum (where the testes are located) that can cause infertility. 
• Congenital Disorders – Klinefelter syndrome (being born with an extra X chromosome) and undescended testicles can cause infertility. 
• Infections – orchitis (inflammation of the testicles), epididymitis (inflammation of the epididymis), and STDs can damage your sperm or testes. 
• Cancer – radiation can damage your testes (which produce sperm) or epididymis (through which sperm passes). 

Step 6: Confirm options to conceive 

Find out how important natural conception is for you and your partner, and if it is still possible. Even if the cause of your infertility can be reversed or treated, you can improve your chances of pregnancy success by utilising assisted reproductive technology: 

• In vitro fertilisation (IVF) – mature eggs will be harvested from your partner and mixed with your sperm in the lab. A successfully fertilised egg will then be placed in your partner’s womb. 
• Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) – one of your sperm cells will be injected directly into one of your partner's egg cells. This is usually done to enhance in vitro fertilisation. 
• Intrauterine insemination (IUI) – rather than placing the sperm in a petri dish, your best sperm cells are directly inserted into your partner’s womb using a thin plastic tube. 
• Sperm collection – if infertility is caused by a blockage in the sperm pathway, such as in the case of epididymitis, your sperm will be obtained through surgery. 
• Sperm donor – if you cannot produce sperm, you can use a sperm donor. If you have a brother, you could ask if they would be willing to donate; otherwise, you can go to a sperm bank. 

Step 7: Keep your relationship strong 

Struggles with infertility can be emotionally difficult, which is why it is more crucial than ever to maintain a strong connection with your partner. Remember, you are in this together. You will be each other’s rock throughout this challenge. It is good to have strong social support, but they will not relate to your struggles in the same way that you and your partner will with each other. Infertility does not mean that you should be miserable. You are still allowed to enjoy life and intimacy as much as you can. You’re still a family even if it’s just you and your partner for now. 

Step 8: Continue to enjoy sex 

Some couples who try to conceive end up feeling so pressured to do it right that they stop taking pleasure in sex. Sex is supposed to be a fun experience that brings you and your partner closer together. You can still enjoy sex even while trying to get pregnant. And, if you are unable to conceive through the traditional method, it just means you get to enjoy the wildest of sex and never have to worry about birth control in the future. Remember, you can still have a child with technology, and you can even adopt. 

Step 9: Consider going to therapy 

Trying and failing to get pregnant can be emotionally taxing and start to affect your and your partner’s mental health. While you do have each other and can rely on a support system (family and friends), you can also talk to a therapist about your struggles. Therapists are trained to provide you with the best approach to any emotional or social issues. It might also feel liberating to open up to someone who does not know you or is involved in your life. 

Male Infertility and Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction does not cause male infertility. However, having erectile dysfunction can make conceiving difficult. Failing to reach ejaculation because of a sudden loss or failure to achieve an erection eliminates your chances of pregnancy. Research shows that male infertility is also prevalent among those with erectile dysfunction. This could be due to the many overlapping risk factors between the two. Testosterone deficiency, diabetes, old age, stress, and the use of harmful substances such as cigarettes and alcohol can lead to either male infertility or erectile dysfunction. 

Outlook 

You can have the family that you dream of, even if male infertility is in the picture. Rest assured that there are treatments available for the different causes of male infertility, and you have several options for how you can have children. But if you are struggling to have children because you cannot get it up, just book an appointment with us, and our experts will gladly help you!