Touch Starvation: The Connection Between Touch Deprivation, Male Loneliness, and Sexual Dysfunctions

Despite the dominating presence of social media in modern life, men are becoming increasingly lonely. One reason for this is the emergence of a phenomenon called touch starvation. This article explores touch starvation and how it affects men, particularly those enduring sexual dysfunctions. 

What is Touch Starvation? 

Touch starvation, also referred to as touch deprivation or skin hunger, is the state that arises from insufficient or non-existent physical touch. As humans are naturally wired to crave touch, a lack of skin-to-skin contact with others can lead to feelings of loneliness, stress, anxiety, and emptiness. Oxytocin, one of the four 'happy hormones,' is released through physical touch. 

Sadly, touch starvation is the norm nowadays. While its prevalence varies depending on cultural and social dynamics, many of us miss out on physical contact due to our busy lives and the convenience of technology, which offers alternatives to many of our needs. Instead of meeting friends in person, we can communicate with them at the click of a button. There are fewer opportunities for physical touch, especially for men. 

Touch Starvation and Male Loneliness 

Experts have raised concerns about what has been termed the 'male loneliness epidemic.' While it's true that everyone experiences loneliness, it has been observed to affect men more intensely. Unlike women, men are often encouraged to suppress their emotions or simply 'tough it out.' Unsurprisingly, suicide rates are rising. According to the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP), male suicide rates are twice as high as those of females. 

Despite this jarring fact, men tend to have fewer friends than women. They are also less likely to seek help during a mental health crisis. Additionally, men may experience less platonic physical touch in their lives. While friendly physical touch is often seen as positive in society, men may worry about having their masculinity questioned or facing social backlash. On the brighter side, a man may get their physical needs met by their partner. 

How Sexual Dysfunctions Cause Touch Starvation 

The reality is that many men cope with touch starvation through romantic or sexual relationships. However, many men suffer from sexual dysfunctions, which can hinder their ability to start or maintain such relationships. Here’s a closer look at how sexual dysfunction can contribute to touch starvation for men: 

• Dead Bedroom – Sexual problems can lead to what is known as a "dead bedroom," or the absence of sexual intimacy in a relationship. Simply put, men don’t have sex. This may happen because their partner is unsatisfied with the sexual experience or because they’re withdrawing themselves. 
• Avoidant Tendencies – Men may begin to display avoidance. They might start to avoid sex due to feelings of shame about their sexual dysfunction. They may even avoid non-sexual touches for fear that it could lead to the bedroom. 
• Emotional Distancing – Men, their partners, or both might begin to exhibit emotional detachment due to the stress of sexual dysfunctions. When you’re emotionally upset or numb, you’re less likely to engage in physical contact. 
• Arguments – Sexual dysfunction can cause relationship problems because physical needs are unmet in a relationship. Usually, it’s the partner who becomes upset. When couples argue, they’re more likely to avoid physical contact with each other. Married couples might even separate temporarily, with some going to stay at their parents’ homes. 
• Separation/Ghosting – Breakups and divorces can result from unmanaged sexual dysfunction in relationships. When men are single, they’re less likely to receive positive physical touch. Sexual dysfunction may also make it harder to establish a new relationship. 

Shared Factors of Touch Starvation and Sexual Dysfunctions 

Aside from a causal relationship, touch starvation and sexual dysfunctions are bi-directional (they influence each other) due to external factors. Here are some of those links: 

• Stress – Cortisol levels decrease when oxytocin is abundant. Research has shown that gentle touches, such as handholding and hugs, can calm us and reduce pain. Being deprived of touch as a means of relaxation can lead to heightened stress, which may trigger premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. 
• Anxiety – Humans are social creatures, and physical touch is one way we co-regulate. Co-regulation is essential for maintaining emotional stability. Those who are touch-starved may experience increased anxiety, which is another cause of sexual dysfunction. 
• Depression – Physical contact also stimulates other happy hormones. Serotonin is crucial for preventing or reducing depressive symptoms. A lack of physical touch often leads to severe loneliness and may even result in a loss of sexual desire (low libido). 
• Hypertension – Experts suggest a link between touch starvation and hypertension. This is because cortisol is associated with an increased heart rate and blood pressure. Hypertension is a leading cause of erectile problems due to reduced blood flow to the penis and can also trigger atherosclerosis. 
• Diabetes – Both touch starvation and male loneliness have been linked to poorer outcomes for diabetes. Diabetes is another trigger for erectile difficulties, as it can damage blood vessels and nerves. 
• Inflammation – Chronic stress can impair the immune system, causing it to go into overdrive in the form of inflammation. If a man leads an inflammatory lifestyle, touch starvation can worsen its negative effects. Chronic inflammation is associated with erectile dysfunction. 

Tackling Touch Starvation and Sexual Dysfunction

Touch starvation and sexual dysfunction are widespread, but they can be managed. Here are some tactics for how men can effectively address both: 

• Communicate with Your Partner – Communication is the foundation of healthy relationships. You can combat touch starvation by directly communicating your needs. Additionally, you can prevent misunderstandings by being honest with your partner and strengthen intimacy by involving them in the steps you take to handle your sexual dysfunction. 
• Seek Medical Treatment – Sexual dysfunction is unlikely to resolve on its own. In fact, it may worsen the longer you ignore it. By seeking expert help, you can address your sexual problems, which will, in turn, reduce the likelihood of touch starvation. 
• See a Relationship Therapist – Dealing with sexual dysfunctions can strain your relationship. Seeing a therapist can help you and your partner work through any negative feelings you both have about your sexual dysfunction. Therapists can also guide couples towards healthier coping techniques. 
• Strengthen Emotional Intimacy – While physical touch is important, emotional intimacy is another way to strengthen your relationship, even if sexual dysfunction is present. You and your partner can engage in activities that bring you joy, such as going on a date or sharing a hobby. 
• Engage in Non-sexual Affection – Not all physical affection is sexual. You can increase acts of hugging, kissing, caressing, and other enjoyable sensual activities for couples. Giving each other massages is another great option. 
• Explore Sexual Outercourse – There’s more to sex than penetration. You can engage in sexual foreplay using your hands or have oral sex. You might also explore each other’s kinks or try other sexual activities, such as tantric sex or roleplaying. 

Takeaway 

Touch starvation can harm men by worsening illnesses and causing emotional distress. Even if a man is in a relationship, he may still suffer from touch starvation due to sexual dysfunctions. Fortunately, you can take strategic steps to address both touch starvation and sexual dysfunction. 

One way to do this is by treating your sexual dysfunction. Book an appointment with our sexual health experts to stop ED/PE from disrupting your relationships and depriving you of the physical affection you deserve!